A few weeks after our baby died, we took our other children to the beach in an attempt to relieve the heaviness of grief. Just for a few hours we wanted to forget the pain and do something normal and happy, and see our children’s faces light up with delight.
As they splashed in the lagoon and built sandcastles, I wandered to the edge of the sea, and stood quietly by myself. I watched the waves rolling in one after another, breaking onto the shore and over my feet. The bright sunlight glinted off the water. A refreshing salty breeze lifted my hair.
For a long time, I stared out at the horizon, oblivious to everything but the ocean. It was so vast and seemed unending. It was magnificent and powerful and beautiful. And while I stood there on the sand, I saw God:
All-knowing,
All-loving,
Almighty and eternal.
I was a mere grain of sand standing before a God, who is so enormous, He goes on and on forever, without end. I am one tiny soul in the universe of creation, but despite this, I was aware I was still important. God was looking at me, and He knew all about my grief.
My whole body throbbed with pain. I could do nothing about my suffering. But I knew that my all-consuming grief was nothing compared to God. All He had to do was blow one tiny breathe, very gently over me, and I would be healed. God could do that. He can do anything.
God reached down, scooped me up, and wrapped me in Love. And hope washed through me. I prayed.
Of course, my grief didn’t vanish in that moment while I stood on the beach looking out at the waves. I wasn’t healed in an instant. But I began to hope. Whenever I was tempted to believe that nothing would ever defeat my grief, I thought of the never-ending ocean, and I remembered:
God is the Creator of everything,
For He made all things from nothing:
He is the Holy One,
A Mystery Awesome and Wondrous,
The Supreme Being, the Supreme Spirit,
All-knowing, All-loving, Almighty and Eternal.
God can wipe away any pain. God can heal. God can do anything.
