Reinventing Ourselves

When I was younger, I often came home from social gatherings and replayed conversations in my head. Did I talk too much? Had I sounded silly? I’d wish I could go back and change what I’d said. I wanted to be a different person. I wondered: could I reinvent myself?

I wanted to be interestingly mysterious, calm and collected. When I spoke, wisdom would be on my lips, not chatter. I’d look uniquely stylish, and I’d move with grace and confidence. I wanted to be someone that other people would admire and want to know.

Somehow my attempts to be that person always failed. I’d forget I was supposed to add only well-thought out comments to the conversation – perhaps I didn’t have any- and my tongue would run away on its own. I couldn’t sit still with an air of calm. My appearance was rather ordinary. There was no mystery about me, inviting others to wonder who I was. I certainly didn’t exude confidence.

The other day, I was watching a video called Reinvent Yourself, presented by the ultra-marathoner, Robin Arzon. Before I’d even watched a minute of the video, I was thinking about the words ‘reinvent yourself’. Is that even possible? Surely we’re who we are? We can’t change into other people, can we? We can’t pretend to be who we’re not. Then I wondered if our vision of ourselves is the true one. Perhaps we see ourselves in a certain way because of our experiences. People around us could have given us a false idea of who we are. Could reinventing ourselves be about casting off those ideas and becoming the people God created us to be?

It has taken me a long time to work out who I am. Actually, I’m still learning about myself, separating the real Sue from the Sue that other people have told me I am. Even now, I have moments of doubt when I wonder if I’m good enough. I know I’m not perfect and need to become a better person. But should I be a different kind of person?

I think my kids have a much better idea of who they are than I did at their ages. They’ve had space to express their opinions without fear, and test out their talents whatever they are, and pursue interests without being put down, and experience life in ways that were denied to me. And they have been allowed to dream.

Maybe that’s what Robin Arzon wanted to tell me. I can be the person that, deep down, I know I can be. I should do what I was created to do and follow my dreams. We all should.

We mustn’t be afraid of what others might say or think. We can’t fear failure. It’s necessary. Without it, we’ll never learn and grow. Do we need to listen to our inner selves, identify our talents and what’s important to us, and then go for it? If we don’t, will the world be a poorer place? Because it’s not all about us, is it? We are who we are because there’s something, big or small, that we should do that will make a difference to other people.

Perhaps as we allow our kids to have their dreams and opinions and ideas, we can also give ourselves the same freedom to be who we really are.

Photos

A few weeks ago, I went to Sydney with two of my daughters: Imogen and Gemma-Rose. As we walked along the streets overshadowed by tall buildings, I told my girls some stories about my teenage and young adult years when I lived in this city. Sydney has changed a lot since those days. So have I.

Radical Unschool Love

Did you hear about the new edition of my unschooling book, Radical Unschool Love? It’s now available on Amazon.  You’ll find this story and lots of similar ones in the book!

So, what do you think? Are you who you want to be? Or do you sometimes want to ‘reinvent’ yourself?