The other day, I listened to a podcast conversation between Fr Mike Schmitz and Matt Fradd. Matt said something like, “I’ve been telling people I went to Sydney to give some talks, but what I should say is, “I went to Sydney to proclaim the Gospel.”
Matt Fradd’s words have encouraged me to consider how I describe my role in life. When people ask me what I do, I could say, “I’m a wife, mother, author, blogger and podcaster.” Or I could say:
“With my husband, my best friend, I accept and love our kids whole-heartedly, recognising their uniqueness, while encouraging them to follow their dreams, use their talents and fulfil the missions God has given them.”
“ I spread the message of unconditional love.”
“I help parents who’d like to unschool, providing resources, information, support and encouragement via my books, blogs and podcasts.”
“I write entertaining stories for Catholic children set in a world similar to theirs, hoping to pass on a sense of belonging and a love for our faith.”
I’ve been wondering if I should change some of these statements or even let go of them. Perhaps it’s time for me to do something new. But what? I don’t want to introduce myself with these words: “I’m Sue; I bring pleasure to my family by cleaning our fridge and washing clothes.” I’ve got nothing against sparkling fridges and fresh sunshine-soaked laundry. It’s a delight to provide them for the people I love. But I yearn to join the bigger conversation that extends past our family. Although I’m pretty good at fridge-cleaning, I have other God-given talents I’d like to use. I want to be part of the Great Love Story.
These are the first words I utter every morning as my feet touch the carpet beside my bed: “Here I am, Lord, I come to do Your will.” They’re closely followed by “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.” But despite my persistence in offering these prayers, God isn’t speaking. Or maybe I’m not listening. I don’t know what God wants me to do now that my kids are grown up and no longer need my all-consuming attention.
This morning, after pouring out my frustrations about my lack of direction, a friend reminded me of my words for this year: “God gave you two words. Perhaps He wants you to focus on them. Answers will arrive in His time.”
My words? I didn’t choose them. I never choose words for each year. These words arrived uninvited. They unexpectedly popped into my head, so I wrote them down. They sounded okay. Actually, I think they’re exactly what I need: silence and slow.
“I’m Sue, and I’m trying to slow down and be silent so I can hear what God wants me to do.”
Another description has just floated into my mind: “I write stories about my life, sharing thoughts about womanhood, marriage and motherhood, and the joys, delights, sorrows and love we experience as we creatively face life’s challenges and try to do God’s will.”
Could that last description be the one I’m searching for? Is this my answer from God? Or is it just a step to somewhere else? I shall ponder longer, go slow, and embrace silence until I know.
Photo
This image was taken by Geoffrey Moore, Unsplash:
Pied currawong (𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢) & Laughing kookaburra (𝘋𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘢𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘦) pitched in battle for the Hill’s hoist
A delight of a summer’s morning is listening to the birds calling and feeling the sunshine on my bare skin while hanging freshly laundered clothes on the Hill’s Hoist line.
So, what do you think?
How would you describe what you do? Do you have any words for this year? If you do, did you choose them? Or did they arrive uninvited? And how are they affecting you and what you do?
If we have prayer, we have purpose. But I love all of yours and they have benefited me greatly!
Ponder happens to by my word. Some synonyms are contemplate, evaluate, examine, reflect. Oh, how things will go along better with this simple word lived!
I hung a bird feeder outside of the kitchen window. I googled how long until birds come. About two weeks, they say. I thought of how it’s like prayer. I’ll need to be patient (wait on the Lord) and then still (I may miss it if I’m rushing around uninterrupted). I can’t obsess (stand there all day) because of my duties. I’ll just glance over every now and then as my work allows. Sooner or later, they’ll arrive.
Michelle,
Oh yes, prayer can be our purpose. I hadn’t considered that. Sometimes when I’m feeling extra-lost, I think about how I have lots of time to pray and read the Bible. Maybe focusing on my relationship with God will lead me to some answers. But, as you said, prayer is something valuable in its own right. It was what we were created to do. I’ll do some more pondering about this.
Pondering is such a good word, isn’t it? I use it a lot! Do you keep a journal where you keep all your ponderings or reflections?
Your bird feeder analogy is excellent and so helpful. I’m going to glance over my shoulder every now and then but not obsess as I pray and wait on the Lord. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me!
You’re welcome! And yes, I journal almost every day.
This conversation with you and Gina made me think. In the spiritual life, they talk about desolation and consolation. Isn’t the overall rhythm of life much like that? The problem with the period of desolation is that it wants us to think it won’t change. But we know that consolation always returns. We can wait in joyful hope because our God is the God of pleasant surprises!
Michelle,
“God is the God of pleasant surprises!” I love your words so much! Thank you for reminding me that consolation always returns. When it seems far away, we get the opportunity to consciously accept the situation and deepen our trust, don’t we? Now I’m thinking about pleasant surprises which is making me smile!
I struggle with a lot of what you wrote about. I am never sure if when I get a new idea if it is from God. I think I need to embrace more silence to find out. Right now I just feel stressed. I feel a little bit trapped by all the parts of my life right now. Another thing I struggle with is: how do you know when the peace and contentment you feel means you should stay where you are at or when is it time to let yourself be stretched a bit and try new things and grow in a different direction?
You might like the book, “The Rocking Chair Prophet” by Catholic author Matthew Kelly. The books talks a lot about listening to the voice within. The first part of the book is very, very sad but then the rest is all about what the main character learns from silence.
Gina,
I often don’t know if my ideas are from God either. Some days, I’m sure I’m meant to delete my unschooling blog, for example. The feeling is strong. And then the next day I feel differently. Just look at how many times I’ve told the world I’m no longer going to blog. I always return because I don’t know what else to do. I should keep my thoughts to myself and stop making big announcements and, instead, embrace silence, as you said, to be sure I know the direction God is leading me in.
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling stressed and trapped. Do you find enough time for yourself? This can be hard when we have lots of kids with different needs, can’t it? You mentioned trying new things. Is there something you’d like to do? Do you have a dream outside your family commitments? Or maybe you should enjoy the peaceful and contented times. Life has its ups and downs. New challenges arrive without warning. Perhaps savour the quiet times, be silent and pray? What do you think? That’s where I am at the moment. My life isn’t difficult. I could take on more work. Do I rush off and fill my days with anything that seems worthwhile? Or relax, be still, savour the quiet and pray? That can be difficult, even though it sounds like the easy option. We get so impatient, don’t we?
A book recommendation! Thank you. I’m off to check it out.
It’s so good to chat with you, Gina. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. xx