Do you ever get concerned about ageing? Do you slather on the anti-wrinkle creams, hoping to preserve your youthful appearance? Perhaps you choose and edit your photos with care, accepting only those that make you look young? Or maybe you don’t worry about such things?
The other day, I was sorting through a file on my computer and found some photos of me that my daughter Sophie took shortly before she left home. There were a few amongst them that I used to dislike because I thought they made me look old. Looking at them again, with eyes that are two years older, I’ve changed my mind. Now I’d be happy to look like I did on that day when my daughter and I strolled along our local river together with our cameras.
That often happens, doesn’t it? We think we look old. We feel unsettled. Then after some more time has passed, we look back and decide that things weren’t that bad after all. What were we complaining about? We’d trade our current faces any day for the ones we used to have.
I’m wondering: in two more years, will I love today’s face more than I do now? Will I wish I’d appreciated it more while I had it? Will I regret wasting so much energy worrying about my appearance and wish I’d taken more pleasure in being who I am right now?
Why do I worry about my ageing face when I can’t actually see it? Perhaps I feel dissatisfied because I’m wondering what people think of me. I want to look good in their eyes. I don’t want anyone to think, “Hey, Sue’s looking old!” I’d like to be thought of as one of those vibrant, young and in-fashion people who are at the centre of things instead of being dismissed as old and past it. I want to belong.
A few months ago, I met an older man – he was in his 80s – at our local lake. After chatting with him for a few minutes, I knew he was wise. He was also full of joy, grateful for his long life and glad to be his age. He sparkled.
“Wise and sparkly: that’s what I want to be when I’m old,” I told my girls. “I’m going to wear t-shirts that say, I’m a wise and sparkly older woman.”
It takes a lot of work maintaining a particular image, doesn’t it? We have to choose the photos we share with care, and edit them well, if we want other people to think we’re someone we’re not. We might be successful, persuading others that we’re younger than we are. But is it really okay to do this? Wouldn’t it be better if we embraced our unique selves, however old we are, so that we can encourage younger people – including our daughters – who will one day be older? We need to say, “I love being who I am right now! I don’t need to pretend to be my younger self. Ageing doesn’t mean our use-by-dates have expired. Oh no, we still have valuable things to do.”
It seems to me that if a few of us passed on that message, if we were obviously comfortable in our ageing skins, others might follow us. Together, we could all be part of an older people tribe. We’d be sparkly and wise and joyful. Younger people might look at us and say, “I can’t wait to grow older and be part of your gang!”
I’ve reached the absolutely fabulous age of 61. Yes, I have a few wrinkles and a saggy jawline, but they’re not important. They’re not who I am.
I’m older.
I’m sparkly.
And one day I hope to be wise.
Beautiful thoughts and pretty smile!! It’s a topic that people think about often, obsess over frequently, or get discouraged by… thank u sharing and for the inspiration to be wise and sparkly. ✨️
I had no idea you were 61! You don’t look it, Sue! Really! I never used to worry about my looks and thought I looked decent but then I got some sun damage on my face. I even went to a dermatologist recently hoping he could give me some sort of cream to make the marks go away. He said it was harmless skin damage but the only thing I could try is a laser type treatment. That doesn’t sound like something I want to do. I have tried using concealer but it almost makes it more obvious. Plus, I am just not a makeup type person. Even though I try to remember sunscreen, I am sure I have forgotten some times over the years. I have decided that this sun damage shows how much I love my kids because I have been taking them to the park for 23 years now. That is how old my oldest is.
Gina,
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I’m sorry you have some sun damage on your face. It’s so easy to get sunburnt, isn’t it? Often the sun comes out from behind a cloud and we don’t realise how strong it is until it’s too late. I bet your kids don’t even notice the damage but see what’s far more important: your love. I’m sure you all have loads of happy memories of your trips to the park!
Esther,
Thank you! It’s so good to connect with you. I’m glad you stopped by! ❤️
Thank you Sue!! Happy to check in and loved your pictures and topic.
My pleasure!!
I love this! Yes, wise and sparkly should be our goal! You are achieving that, Sue! It is wise to be proud of your age. My husband sees so many young people die in the ER…it is a constant reminder to live life to the fullest as each and every day is a gift from God.
Staci,
I learn so much from people who are older than me, the ones who love being who they are. They inspire me. Why waste time yearning to be our younger selves when we can accept our age and aspire to be wise and sparkly! Oh yes, each day of our lives is indeed a gift from God! ❤️
Beautiful said. You have always been wise and sparkly! Cricket
Hi Cricket!
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment! ?
Hi Sue, I loved this post as I am now 54 and glad to be. It has been ages since I received your blog posts. A random comment I guess from somebody reading one of your blog posts ended up in my inbox today. Don’t know if you remember me. Nancy Saffield? All our children are adults now and we have grandchildren, but I would love to be back on your mailing list. How would I go about doing that?
Nancy,
Oh yes, I remember you! Would you believe I was thinking about you the day before I received your comment?! I’m so pleased you stopped by my blog.
I’d love to share more of my blog posts with you. There’s a subscribe link in the top menu bar on my blog. I think you just need to add an email address to receive notifications of any new posts. I haven’t written anything for several weeks because I’ve been working on a third unschooling book but, hopefully, I’ll get back to blog post writing soon.
I’m so glad we’re both part of the wise and sparkly gang and happy despite being just a bit older than we used to be!
It’s so neat to still be in each other’s thoughts. God bless you Sue
Look forward to catching up!
Nancy,
Yes! I’m so glad you found your way to my blog again and stopped to say hello. May God bless you and your family too!
I’m a little late here. Finding your newest blog is a like a book that I can’t wait to get back to. So many good stories to read. I love your honesty and humor.
“I can’t wait to grow older and be part of your gang!” Mother Angelica, in other words, said that we have to embrace our old age so that young people have something to look forward to! It changed my perspective quite a bit.
Michelle,
You are kind! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my stories.
Oh yes, we have to embrace our old age. I will check out Mother Angelica and her thoughts on ageing. She was very wise!
Would you like to be part of my older, sparkly gang? 😊